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 Arranged Marriage

This kind of marriages need more help from Swamiji Sri Selvam Siddhar. Before arranging marriage the match making of horoscopes is a must. Now days the astrologers match the stars only. They do not match the horoscopes. According to the Vedas it is not a proper procedure. Arranged marriage is a marriage arranged by someone other than the couple getting wedded, curtailing or avoiding the process of courtship. Such marriages had deep roots in most of the families around the world. The arranged marriage is practiced widely in South Asia, and the Middle East to some extent. It should not be confused with the phenomenon of forced marriage.

The match could be selected by parents, a matchmaking agent, matrimonial site, or a trusted third party. In many communities, priests or religious leaders as well as relatives or family friends play a major role in matchmaking. The pattern of arranged marriage can be employed for other reasons besides the formation of a promising new family unit. In such marriages, typically economic or legal reasons take precedence over the goal of selecting a well-matched couple. Though critics are not always specific, criticism of arranged marriage usually targets abuses such as forced marriage and child marriage.

In a "forced marriage" the parents choose their son's or daughter's future spouse with no input from their son or daughter. This form of arranged marriage is rare in the modern Western world, but not quite as rare in some other parts of the world. Occasionally, even if the son or daughter disapproves of the choice, the marriage takes place regardless, overriding their objections. In some societies, in order to ensure cooperation the parents may threaten the child with punishment, or in rare cases, disinheritance and death. Motivating factors for such a marriage tend to be social or economic, i.e., the interests of the family or community goals served by the marriage are seen as paramount, and the preference of the individual is considered insignificant. In a "child marriage" children, or even infants, are married. The married children often live apart with their respective families until well after puberty. Child marriages are typically made for economic or political reasons. In rural India and several other countries, the requirement of providing a dowry for daughters is generally acknowledged to be a contributing factor to female infanticide. In East Africa a form of arranged marriage known as absuma is set up between cousins at birth.

In a "shotgun wedding" the groom is forced to marry the bride due to unplanned pregnancy (or other reasons). It is given this colloquial name from the traditional method of force used: holding a shotgun to the groom's head until he is married. This can also be classified as a forced marriage. Although it is worth noting that the concept came about before the invention of the shotgun. Laws of Old Testament Israel said that if an unmarried couple engages in extramarital sex the female can force the man to marry her or pay a fine. A reason is never given in the text, but it is likely predicated on the text's specification that the woman was a virgin; no longer being a virgin, it would be difficult for her to find a marriage, and so her sexual partner must marry her to provide for her well-being. Alternatively, it could be based on family honor, i.e. it was shameful for her to have had relations without being married, and it would be all the more shameful if she had a child out of wedlock. The main variation in procedure between arranged marriages is in the nature and duration of the time from meeting to engagement.

In an "introduction only" arranged marriage, the parents may only introduce their son or daughter to a potential spouse. The parents may briefly talk to the parents of the prospective spouse. From that point on, it is up to the children to manage the relationship and make a choice. There is no set time period. This is still common in the rural parts of North America, South America and especially in India. The same pattern also appears in Japan. This type of arranged marriage is very common in Iran also. This open-ended process takes considerably more courage on the part of the parents, as well as the prospective spouses, in comparison to a fixed time-limit arranged marriage. Women and men fear the stigma and emotional trauma of going through a courtship and then being rejected.

A more moderate and flexible procedure known as a "modern arranged marriage" is gaining in popularity. Parents choose several possible candidates or employ a marriage website. The parents will then arrange a meeting with the family of the prospective mate, confining their role to responsible facilitators and well-wishers. Less pressure to agree to the match is exerted by the parents in comparison to a traditional arranged marriage.

In some cases, a prospective partner may be selected by the son or daughter instead of by the parents or by a matchmaker. In such cases, the parents will either disapprove of the match and forbid the marriage or, just as likely, approve the match and agree to proceed with the marriage. Such cases are distinct from a love marriage because courtship is curtailed or absent and the parents retain the prerogative to forbid the match.

In cultures where dating is not prevalent, arranged marriages perform a similar function--bringing together people who might otherwise not have met. In such cultures, arranged marriage is viewed as the norm and preferred by young adults. Even where courtship practices are becoming fashionable, young adults tend to view arranged marriage as an option they can fall back on if they are unable or unwilling to spend the time and effort necessary to find spouses on their own. In such cases, the parents become welcome partners in a hunt for marital bliss. Further, in several cultures, the last duty of a parent to his or her son or daughter is to see that he or she passes through the marital rites.

In some cultures, arranged marriage is a tradition handed down through many generations. Parents who take their son or daughter's marriage into their own hands have themselves been married by the same process. Many parents and children likewise, feel pressure from the community to conform, and in certain cultures a love marriage or even courtship is considered a failure on the part of the parents to maintain control over their child. In such cultures, children are brought up with these cultural assumptions and so do not feel stifled.

Parents in some communities fear social and/or religious stigma if their child is not married by a certain age. Several cultures deem the son or daughter less likely to find a suitable partner if he or she is past a certain age, and consider it folly to try to marry them off at that stage. In these societies, including China, the intra generational relationship of the family is much more valued than the marital relationship. The whole purpose of the marriage is to have a family. Before entering into an arranged marriage there are many aspects to analyze. These factors are reputation, vocation; Concept, Religious History, Wealth, Religion: Horoscope, Dietary preference, Height, Age difference, Language and there many other factors for an arranged marriage. We will see more details about all these factors.

Reputation: Reputation is the opinion of the public toward a person, a group of people, or an organization. It is an important factor in many fields, such as education, business, online communities or social status. It is known to be a ubiquitous, spontaneous and highly efficient mechanism of social control in natural societies. Reputation is a fundamental instrument of social order, based upon distributed, spontaneous social control.

A vocation: A vocation as defined in a religious environment is an occupation for which a person is suited, trained or qualified. Often those who follow a religious vocation have an inclination to undertake the work, often called a calling. This type of vocation is either professional or voluntary and can include many different religious backgrounds.
Vocations can be seen as fulfilling a psychological or spiritual need for the worker, and the term can also be used to explain any occupation for which a person is specifically gifted. While matching horoscopes, Swamiji Sri.Selvam Siddhar pays a special attention to vocation, because vocation is the major factor which decides the peaceful living of the couple.
Concept of Vocation: The idea of vocation is central to the human belief that God has created each person with gifts and talents oriented toward specific purposes and a way of life. Particularly in the Atharva Veda this idea of vocation is especially associated with a divine call to service to the humanity through particular vocational life commitments such as marriage to a particular person, consecration as a religious and spiritual couple. According to Swamiji Sri.Selvam Siddhar’s words, “by leading a spiritual life, one can lead a comfortable life. There is no caste, creed or religion to lead a spiritual life. If everybody adopts a spiritual life, the world will be the park of peace.” As a Commander of philosophy and spirituality, Selvam Siddhar (Dr.Commander Selvam) gives this command to the humanity.  In the broader sense, vocation includes the use of one’s gifts in their profession, family life, social and religious commitments for the sake of the greater common good.
The idea of a vocation or "calling" has been pivotal in all parts of the world. Swamiji Selvam Siddhar, as a scholar of Atharva Veda teaches that each individual is expected to fulfill his God-appointed task in everyday life. Although the concept of the calling emphasized vocation, there was no particular emphasis on labor beyond what was required for one's daily bread. As an Atharva Veda scholar, Swamiji Siddhar defines the role of "The human in his vocation." He notes that God has prescribed appointed duties to men and styled such spheres of life vocations or callings.

Wealth: The meaning of the word at its simplest, that which satisfies human needs and wants of utility. In popular usage, wealth can be described as an abundance of items of economic value, or the state of controlling or possessing such items, usually in the form of money, real estate and personal property. An individual who is considered wealthy, affluent, or rich is someone who has accumulated substantial wealth relative to others in their society or reference group. Wealth can be categorized into three principal categories: personal property, including homes or automobiles; monetary savings, such as the accumulation of past income; and the capital wealth of income producing assets, including real estate, stocks, and bonds. All these delineations make wealth an especially important part of social stratification. Wealth provides a type of safety net of protection against an unforeseen decline in one’s living standard in the event of job loss or other emergency and can be transformed into home ownership, business ownership, or even a college education. According to Selvam Siddhar this physical wealth is nothing. It is just a commodity required to pull on the life. None can buy the “punya” or blessings with the wealth but any body can buy wealth with the “punya” or blessings.

Richness can also refer at least basic needs being met with abundance widely shared. The opposite of wealth is destitution. The opposite of richness is poverty. The term implies a social contract on establishing and maintaining ownership in relation to such items which can be invoked with little or no effort and expense on the part of the owner. The concept of wealth is relative and not only varies between societies, but will often vary between different sections or regions in the same society. A personal net worth of US $10,000 in most parts of the United States would certainly not place a person among the wealthiest citizens of that locale. However, such an amount would constitute an extraordinary amount of wealth in impoverished developing countries. Only because of the US $ value in Indian currency a lot of brides and grooms from India wish to have their life partner from USA. The planets are the only reason to have the life partner from a foreign country.

Concepts of wealth also vary across time. Modern labor-saving inventions and the development of the sciences have enabled the poorest sectors of today's society to enjoy a standard of living equivalent if not superior to the wealthy of the not-too-distant past. This comparative wealth across time is also applicable to the future; given this trend of human advancement, it is likely that the standard of living that the wealthiest today enjoy will be considered rude poverty by future generations.

To know further read the next article.


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